You Can’t Follow Jesus and Hold Grudges

Jesus preached a message of transformative power, a message deeply rooted in love, grace, and forgiveness. He knew the condition of the human heart and its tendency toward bitterness, vengeance, and self-righteousness. Yet, He also knew the incredible change that takes place when a heart is truly surrendered to God and shaped by divine mercy. Central to His message was the call to forgive. Forgiveness is not an optional aspect of the Christian walk; it is fundamental to it. Jesus called His followers to forgive as they themselves have been forgiven, understanding that we have been recipients of extravagant mercy and therefore should extend that same mercy to others.

Forgiveness is the essence of the gospel. At its core, the gospel is the story of a holy God who forgave sinful humanity at the cost of His own Son. Jesus bore the weight of every sin and every offense, making peace between God and man. This act was not deserved or earned by us. It was given freely, demonstrating the overwhelming love of God. If this is the foundation of our salvation, how then can we live in a way that contradicts it by withholding forgiveness from others? The contradiction becomes stark when we realize the enormity of what has been done for us. Grace is not cheap; it came at the highest cost imaginable. To receive such a gift and yet deny others the fruit of that grace is to betray its very nature.

Jesus made this point unmistakably clear in the parable of the unmerciful servant. In that story, a servant who owed a king an unpayable debt was forgiven. Yet, that same servant refused to forgive a fellow servant who owed him a much smaller amount. The king, upon hearing this, became angry and threw the unmerciful servant into prison until he could pay back all he owed. Jesus concluded this story by saying that this is how the heavenly Father will treat each of us unless we forgive our brother or sister from the heart. The message is sobering and clear. Forgiveness is not merely a nice sentiment or an emotional release; it is a spiritual obligation rooted in the mercy we ourselves have received.

When Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother, perhaps thinking that seven times would be more than generous, Jesus answered that he should forgive seventy times seven times. This wasn’t meant to be a literal number or a quota to count against. Rather, it emphasized the boundless and ongoing nature of true forgiveness. The heart of the believer is to be continually postured toward mercy. The Christian life is not one of keeping score but of extending grace. Each act of forgiveness is a mirror of the cross, a reflection of the great forgiveness we continually receive from our heavenly Father.

Forgiveness is not just an external action. It is a condition of the heart. Jesus emphasized the inner life and the intentions of the heart more than the outward display of religiosity. In His rebukes of the Pharisees, He often pointed out that while their actions may appear holy, their hearts were full of hypocrisy and pride. God does not merely listen to our words; He examines our hearts. This is why Jesus said that people may honor Him with their lips while their hearts remain far from Him. To forgive in name only, while harboring resentment inwardly, is not true forgiveness. True forgiveness involves letting go of the offense, releasing the person from our judgment, and desiring reconciliation and peace.

Forgiveness is one of the most difficult acts for the flesh, especially when the offense is great. Betrayal, slander, abuse, neglect, and injustice can leave deep scars. Yet, it is in these moments that the power of the gospel is most visibly demonstrated. Forgiveness does not mean condoning sin or denying justice. It means releasing the right to take revenge and entrusting judgment to God, who judges justly. It means praying for those who hurt us and blessing those who curse us. It means allowing God to heal the wounds rather than feeding the bitterness.

Paul wrote in Colossians that we are to forgive whatever grievances we may have against one another, forgiving as the Lord forgave us. The standard is not our own sense of justice or fairness but the divine measure of grace. God did not wait until we were repentant or deserving before offering us forgiveness. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. This unmerited kindness is what we are called to emulate. Our human tendency is to withhold forgiveness until the other person apologizes or proves they have changed. But God calls us to initiate forgiveness, to take the first step even if the other person never responds. This is what makes Christian forgiveness so radical and so powerful.

Forgiveness is also deeply tied to our relationship with God. Jesus taught that if we are at the altar offering a gift to God and remember that someone has something against us, we are to leave the gift, go be reconciled, and then return to offer our worship. This shows that reconciliation with others is directly linked to our worship of God. Our vertical relationship with God cannot be separated from our horizontal relationships with others. If we are harboring resentment or hatred, our prayers are hindered. We cannot claim to be in fellowship with God while being in broken, unforgiving relationships with others.

John wrote extensively about love in his epistles, making it clear that love and forgiveness are inseparable. He said that anyone who claims to love God but hates his brother is a liar. This is strong language, but it is meant to emphasize the seriousness of the matter. Love is the evidence of God’s life within us. If we truly have been born again, if the Spirit of God resides within us, then love will be the fruit of that transformation. And love does not keep a record of wrongs. Love is patient, kind, and full of mercy. Love forgives.

We know we have passed from death to life because we love our brothers. This is not a love based on sentiment or emotion but a love rooted in action and truth. It is a love that seeks the good of the other, even at personal cost. Jesus modeled this love by washing the feet of His disciples, including the one who would betray Him. He showed us what it means to love even our enemies, praying for those who nailed Him to the cross. This kind of love is not natural; it is supernatural. It flows from a heart transformed by grace and sustained by the Spirit.

Forgiveness is a discipline that must be cultivated. It is not always instant or easy. Sometimes it is a daily decision to release the offense and choose love. It may involve wrestling in prayer, asking God to help us forgive when we do not feel like it. It may mean seeking counsel, leaning on community, and allowing others to walk with us through the process of healing. But it is always possible through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Forgiveness sets us free. When we hold on to bitterness and resentment, we are the ones who suffer. Unforgiveness is like a poison that corrupts our soul, affects our health, and steals our peace. It imprisons us in the past and blinds us to the future God has for us. But forgiveness opens the door to healing, to restoration, and to freedom. It allows us to move forward without carrying the weight of past wounds.

Jesus invites us into a life marked by grace. He offers us a new way to live, one that is not dictated by the offenses of others but by the mercy we have received. He calls us to be peacemakers, to be ministers of reconciliation, and to be vessels of His love in a broken world. This calling is not always easy, but it is always worth it. When we forgive, we reflect the heart of our Savior. We show the world that there is a better way, a higher way, a way of love that overcomes hate, of peace that overcomes strife, and of mercy that triumphs over judgment.

In a world that often glorifies retaliation and revenge, the message of forgiveness stands as a powerful testimony to the reality of God. When believers choose to forgive, they demonstrate the reality of the kingdom of God breaking into the present. They become living witnesses of the power of the cross, showing that love is stronger than hate and that grace can transform even the hardest of hearts.

Forgiveness is not just about the other person. It is about our obedience to God, our spiritual maturity, and our desire to walk in the fullness of life He offers. It is about keeping our hearts pure, our consciences clean, and our fellowship with God unhindered. It is about walking in the light, where there is no shadow of bitterness or darkness of resentment.

May we be a people who forgive readily and deeply. May we remember the mercy that has been lavished upon us and extend that same mercy to those around us. May we be quick to release offenses, quick to pursue peace, and quick to love. In doing so, we reflect the very heart of Jesus, who loved us and gave Himself for us even when we were undeserving. This is the gospel, and this is our calling.