Overcoming the Hurts of the Past

Every person, at some point in life, experiences deep hurt. Some wounds are recent, others reach back years, and some have been part of our story for so long that they almost feel like part of who we are. These are the silent pains that time alone has not healed.

You tell yourself you have moved on. You bury the memories, you stay busy, you talk about forgiveness, but something inside you still reacts whenever that memory surfaces. You see a face, hear a word, or feel a familiar pain in your heart. The sting reminds you that what happened is still there, resting just beneath the surface.

No matter how strong you are, you cannot simply will that kind of pain away. Some hurts leave marks that run deep. They affect how you think, how you trust, and how you love. You may have prayed for peace and said, “Lord, help me forget,” but the memory keeps returning.

The truth is, everyone gets hurt. It is part of living in a broken world. Friends betray us. Parents wound their children. Spouses speak words that cannot be taken back. Sometimes it is rejection, sometimes abuse, sometimes an act that cuts to the core.

The question is not whether we will be hurt but how we will respond when we are. Because every wound leaves us with a choice. We can carry it for the rest of our lives, allowing it to shape our emotions and our future, or we can hand it over to God and allow Him to turn that pain into healing.

The longer we hold on to pain, the heavier it becomes. Unresolved hurt begins to shape our attitudes, our relationships, and even our sense of identity. Over time, it hardens into bitterness, and bitterness is poison. It poisons the heart that carries it, not the one who caused it.

But that is not what God desires for His children. He does not want us to live trapped by the pain of the past. He wants us to walk in freedom, freedom in our mind, freedom in our heart, and freedom in our spirit.

In Ephesians 4:31–32, Paul gives us a clear command and a path toward that freedom:

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (NIV)

Paul does not tell us to manage bitterness or to hide it. He tells us to remove it completely. Bitterness forms when a wound is left unhealed. It is what happens when we replay the pain rather than release it.

Some people say, “You don’t know what they did to me.” And that may be true. But God knows. He saw it all, and still He calls you to release it. Forgiveness is not about excusing what happened. It is about refusing to let that pain define you any longer.

Forgiveness is not forgetting. It is releasing. It is choosing to stop reliving the wound and start trusting God to redeem it. Because as long as you hold on to resentment, your hands are too full for God to fill them with peace.

You may have been asking God to heal your heart, but He is waiting for you to open your hand. When you forgive, even through tears, you give Him permission to heal what you cannot fix. That is when true freedom begins.

You cannot step into the future God has prepared for you while holding on to the past that hurt you. Healing begins when you release the pain to Him. At the cross, everything changes.