When You Keep Doing What You Hate

It is one of the most honest and relatable confessions in all of Scripture. Paul writes in Romans 7 about a war raging inside him. He says, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate, I do.” Every true believer has felt this tension. You know what is right. You even want to do what is right. But somehow, you still find yourself doing what is wrong. Not once, but over and over again. Why?

The answer is not that you are still a slave to sin. If you are in Christ, you have been set free. The chains are broken. The cell door is open. The power of sin has been crushed. But while you are no longer under sin's rule, you are still living in a world where sin is everywhere. You are still wrapped in flesh. And that flesh has cravings. That flesh has habits. That flesh wants comfort, wants control, and wants what it wants right now. And it does not care what the Spirit of God wants.

That is the battle.

You are not just fighting sin. You are fighting yourself. You are fighting your thoughts, your impulses, your old patterns, your comfort zones, and your flesh-driven reactions. There is a division inside you. The Spirit pulls you toward God. The flesh pulls you toward self. And sometimes, even when your heart is in the right place, your actions betray you. You may set out to do the right thing and find yourself in the middle of a mess, wondering how you got there.

This is not spiritual immaturity. It is spiritual reality. It is what it means to walk with Christ while still trapped in a fallen body. You are not glorified yet. You are saved, but you are still in process. And until the day you stand before Christ face to face, this internal tug-of-war is going to be part of your life.

But here is the difference between a believer and an unbeliever. The unbeliever sins and shrugs. The believer sins and grieves. The believer feels the weight of conviction, not because they are still a slave, but because they are now a son or daughter of God. And that identity comes with a new heart. A heart that hates what it used to love. A heart that weeps over what it used to laugh at.

If you feel the battle, take heart. That struggle is proof that the Holy Spirit lives in you. It is evidence that you have been changed. People without the Spirit do not wrestle with sin. They enjoy it. They chase it. But you hate it, even as you sometimes fall into it. That hatred is not hypocrisy. It is transformation in progress.

That does not mean you accept sin. It means you fight it from a place of victory instead of defeat. When you fall, you get up again. You confess it. You hate it. You learn from it. You guard your heart. You tighten your boundaries. And you press on. Because the mark of a true believer is not sinlessness. It is the refusal to stay in sin.

Paul’s own conclusion in Romans 7 is not despair. It is worship. He cries out, “Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God, through Jesus Christ our Lord.” That is the answer. Not self-effort. Not perfection. Not performance. The answer is Jesus. Always Jesus.

You may feel weak. You may feel divided. You may feel broken. But do not let those feelings lie to you. You are not disqualified. You are not alone. You are not too far gone. The very fact that you hate your sin proves that you are no longer mastered by it. You have a new Master now. One who sees you, fights for you, forgives you, and calls you forward.

Keep walking. Keep repenting. Keep believing. And never forget this: the same grace that saved you is the grace that will carry you through this war within. One day, the battle will end. One day, you will be whole. One day, the war will be over. But until that day, keep fighting. Because the fight itself is proof that you belong to Him.